Ouch.

Even so, Foley’s mother, Diane, told CNN’s Anderson Cooper that officials asked family members to “not go to the media.” She said they were told the “government would not exchange prisoners,” or carry out “military action” to try to rescue her son.

“I think our efforts to get Jim freed were an annoyance” to the U.S. government, she said in the interview that aired Thursday. “It didn’t seem to be in (U.S.) strategic interest, if you will.”

She said she was “embarrassed and appalled” by the way the government handled the case.

The truth is, the officials were right. The U.S. government should not exchange prisoners or engage in military action with terrorists unless it is in the nation’s interest. But they should never give the family the impression that their concerns are an annoyance or stand in the way of the family doing whatever it can to save their son.