Kurt Schlichter has a list. I like the last two.
6. Actually live the values conservatives talk about. Sure, we’re pretty good at articulating moral values, but here’s the thing – they aren’t just morally right. They actually make your like better. Have a job and don’t sponge off others – this will not only provide you with money but also the self-satisfaction that comes with not being a parasite. Oh, and don’t cheat on your spouse. Divorce is expensive and unpleasant and no one has ever had a good one. Try not to have (or cause) babies out of wedlock – you know, there are a wide variety of techniques and pharmaceuticals designed to prevent unintended reproduction. You should try those. But when you do intend to have kids – and you should, because we need to outbreed these barren, frigid liberal losers – teach them not to be little savages. And if you do all those things, not only will your life be infinitely better but our society will be infinitely better. After all, most of the truly awful liberal policies we hate are designed to shift the economic consequences of the bad decisions of Democrat voters in these areas to our pocketbooks.
7. Buy Ammo. Do you really have to ask why? Just look around. Don’t be the guy standing there in the midst of the chaos muttering, “Gee, if I had only noticed that the entire world was going to hell and stocked up on bullets while there were still stores.” Be the guy saying, “Sure, I can trade you some 5.56 rounds for some delicious canned food or gasoline” or “And I have ten more mags, and all my friends have ten more mags, so if you don’t want to end up like your friends lying there you better run.”