Prisoner Lawsuit Against Michael Vick

This is hilarious.  A prisoner in South Carolina has filed a civil suit against Michael Vick.

A few highlights from the petition (handwritten, BTW):

As Plaintiff is claiming that his Federal and State Constitutional Rights are being violated under the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 14th amendment of the Constitution.  For relief, Plaintiff seeks $63,000,000,000.00 Billion dollars backed by gold and silver delivered via “UPS” United Parcel Service to the front gates of FCI Williamsburg, Salters, S.C., collected from Defendant MICHAEL VICK.

...

On April 28th, Mr. Vick sold my dogs on ebay auction, and used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran Government.

..

On Feb 10th, 2007, Michael Vick pledged allegiance to Al-Queda
Michael Vick subjected my to microwave testing
Michael Vick used drugs in school zones

...

Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes.

 

Classic.  This is the same prisoner who filed a suit with a 57-page defendant list (PDF), including the following:

George W. Bush, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Hoffa, www.google.com, Pope Benedict XVI, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, www.accuweather.com, Adolf Hitler’s National Socialist Party, Roc-A-Fella Records, Shawn Carter (doing business at Jay-Z), Japan’s Nikkei Stock Exchange, Gambino (crime family), Three Mile Island, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami, GEICO Insurance, Jewish State of Israel, Soledad O’Brien, Tsunami victims, The American Red Cross, Jessica Alba, Charles Moose, al-Qaida Islamic Arm, Fruit of A-Loom, Outback Steakhouse, Donald J. Trump, Chris Berman, Shawn John Combs (doing business as Puff Daddy, doing business as Mr. Ditty), Vincent K. McMahon, Meals on Wheels, Saddam Hussein, Jewish workers at NBC/Universal, Elizabeth Smart, The Panama Canal Commission, Kelly Clarkston, 13 tribes of Israel, Plato, Lincoln Memorial, Boris Becker, Various Buddhist monks, Christina Applegate, Jewish Mossad, National Vanguard Books, Mein Kampf, Venus Williams, Medieval Times, Denny’s, Brotherhood of the Snake, Larry King, Larry King Live 9 p.m., Rastafarian natives, National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, Ulluminati, Wu-Tang Clan, Wu Wear Inc., Nordic gods, The Da Vinci Code, Sears Tower, Mike Tyson, Native American Fish Society, Green Bay’s Lambeau Field, Pizza Hut, Ming Dynasty, Barry Bonds, Gangs in Hong Kong, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, National Hockey League Players’ Association, Philadelphia Eagles (2005 roster, including Donovan McNabb), The Waffle House