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Prisoner Lawsuit Against Michael Vick

This is hilarious.  A prisoner in South Carolina has filed a civil suit against Michael Vick.

A few highlights from the petition (handwritten, BTW):

As Plaintiff is claiming that his Federal and State Constitutional Rights are being violated under the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 14th amendment of the Constitution.  For relief, Plaintiff seeks $63,000,000,000.00 Billion dollars backed by gold and silver delivered via “UPS” United Parcel Service to the front gates of FCI Williamsburg, Salters, S.C., collected from Defendant MICHAEL VICK.

...

On April 28th, Mr. Vick sold my dogs on ebay auction, and used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran Government.

..

On Feb 10th, 2007, Michael Vick pledged allegiance to Al-Queda
Michael Vick subjected my to microwave testing
Michael Vick used drugs in school zones

...

Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes.

 

Classic.  This is the same prisoner who filed a suit with a 57-page defendant list (PDF), including the following:

George W. Bush, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Hoffa, www.google.com, Pope Benedict XVI, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, www.accuweather.com, Adolf Hitler’s National Socialist Party, Roc-A-Fella Records, Shawn Carter (doing business at Jay-Z), Japan’s Nikkei Stock Exchange, Gambino (crime family), Three Mile Island, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami, GEICO Insurance, Jewish State of Israel, Soledad O’Brien, Tsunami victims, The American Red Cross, Jessica Alba, Charles Moose, al-Qaida Islamic Arm, Fruit of A-Loom, Outback Steakhouse, Donald J. Trump, Chris Berman, Shawn John Combs (doing business as Puff Daddy, doing business as Mr. Ditty), Vincent K. McMahon, Meals on Wheels, Saddam Hussein, Jewish workers at NBC/Universal, Elizabeth Smart, The Panama Canal Commission, Kelly Clarkston, 13 tribes of Israel, Plato, Lincoln Memorial, Boris Becker, Various Buddhist monks, Christina Applegate, Jewish Mossad, National Vanguard Books, Mein Kampf, Venus Williams, Medieval Times, Denny’s, Brotherhood of the Snake, Larry King, Larry King Live 9 p.m., Rastafarian natives, National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, Ulluminati, Wu-Tang Clan, Wu Wear Inc., Nordic gods, The Da Vinci Code, Sears Tower, Mike Tyson, Native American Fish Society, Green Bay’s Lambeau Field, Pizza Hut, Ming Dynasty, Barry Bonds, Gangs in Hong Kong, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, National Hockey League Players’ Association, Philadelphia Eagles (2005 roster, including Donovan McNabb), The Waffle House

 

 

 

Posted by Jed at 1714 hrs
Law

1. Hopefully he can succeed in getting papers on James Hoffa. I’d be curious as to where he gets found.

   Posted by triticale on August 14, 2007 at 2329 hrs
   
   
   

2. Did I miss him, or was Elvis listed as a defendant?

   Posted by Peter on August 14, 2007 at 2342 hrs
   
   
   

3. While it is amusing, it also a serious problems for our courts.  All the defendents have to respond to the complaint, the judge and their clerks have to read it and write an order to dismiss it.  The courts gets thousands of these cases a year.
   If a prisnoner files a case like this and it is deemed frivilous, they have extrta time added onto their sentence because they won’t be able to pay a frivilous case penalty.
   Perhaps that will cut down on the lawsuits.  Might also be a deterrent for other people who file a frivilous lawsuit- criminalize it.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 15, 2007 at 0049 hrs
   
   
   

4. Uh, Dan, the guy is obviously insane.  The case won’t be heard, people won’t have to respond, it’s just a guy that needs psychiatric care, but ended up in prison because it’s cheaper.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 15, 2007 at 0801 hrs
   
   
   

5. And you said Jessica Alba was overrated…but she’s in there.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 15, 2007 at 1012 hrs
   
   
   

6. Boy a 57 page defendant list….Anybody think this guy can even count that high without help?

   That and I wonder who helped him spell UPS?

   Posted by Michael J. Cheaney on August 15, 2007 at 1110 hrs
   
   
   

7. Might also be a deterrent for other people who file a frivilous lawsuit- criminalize it.

   Agreed. Let’s start by imprisoning Robert Bork.

   Posted by illusory tenant on August 15, 2007 at 1228 hrs
   
   
   

8. capper, you knowledge of the law is apparently pretty ignorant.  While the defendents may not all have to reply, someone does and the court still has to formally dismiss it, so work still has to be done.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 15, 2007 at 1541 hrs
   
   
   

9. If the Defendants are properly served they will have to respond.  There is no, “common judge this guy is nuts” rule of civil procedure.  It may only be a motion to dismiss and a motion for sanctions but it will cost each defendant thousands of dollars.

   If they are not served, after 120 days (assuming it is a federal case and not a state case) the court will most likely enter an order to show cause as to why the case should not be dismissed.  This will waist court resources.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 16, 2007 at 0806 hrs
   
   
   

10. Triticale, perhaps you should actually read now and again. James Hoffa is the president of the Teamsters. His father James Riddle Hoffa is missing, and presumed dead!

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 16, 2007 at 1155 hrs
    
    
    

11. uh guys since Plato has been dead for centuries and Mein Kamph and The Da Vinci Code are books and some of the “defendents” are inanimate objects(like buildings) how can they be served? I think it’s obvious that this case will never reach the courts. This guy Richie is a cukoo-for-cocoapuffs loony toon with an i.q. of a rock. Why would any court waste time over this crap?

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 19, 2007 at 0734 hrs
    
    
    

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