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Nugent’s Truths

Here’s a list of Ted Nugent’s irrefutable list of truths.  It’s hard to argue with most of them. 

* Water is wet. Venison is food. Tobacco use kills more Americans than anything. Drinking and driving is self-inflicted terrorism.

* God gave me the right to defend myself.

* Tofu production kills more living things than any other activity on earth.

* Paul McCartney took too much acid.

* Trapping bans don’t work. Hunting bans don’t work. Gun bans don’t work. Gun-free zones are a recipe for innocent slaughter.

* Guns are harmless, inanimate objects.

* Pathetic people not willing to defend themselves cannot dictate such soulless policy upon those of us who know we must.

* American education fails to teach many children to read, write, spell, balance a checkbook or talk.

* The Internal Revenue Service is horrendously wasteful, unaccountable and unconstitutional.

* Dope destroys lives. Meth users are American terrorists.

* The No. 1 threat to a black American’s life is a black American.

* Kids that don’t do chores are a liability to family and America.

* People who don’t care about their health don’t deserve health care.

* Good is superior to evil. Smart is better than dumb. Activism is the duty of anyone claiming to be part of an experiment in self-government. A work ethic is far superior to laziness.

* Barbecued dead animals are perfect, natural and delicious.

* Love conquers hate. Patience teaches much more than immediate gratification. Clean is better than dirty.

* War is the answer against terror and evil. In WWII, America was the good guy, the Japanese and Nazis were the bad guys. You cannot negotiate with evil.

* The war on poverty is a joke. Pimps, whores and welfare brats are not legitimate job descriptions.

* Trees produce wood for many quality and proper uses.

* There are more deer, bear, mountain lion, geese, wild hogs and wild turkey in North America than at any time in recorded history.

* Child molesters cannot be fixed.

* The government gets more profit from gasoline taxes than the oil corporations do per gallon.

* Rock-‘n’-roll is sexier than C&W. Guitars are cooler than keyboards.

* It’s better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

* People who can’t speak clear English or mumble and carry themselves badly will have a hard time achieving the American Dream.

* Hippies stink.

* People who litter are rude pigs.

Posted by Owen at 1053 hrs
Off-Duty

1. “Hey Obama, you might want to suck on one of these you punk? Obama, he’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on one of my machine guns…Let’s hear it for them. I was in NY and I said hey Hillary—you might want to ride one of these into the sunset you worthless bitch…Since I’m in California, I’m gonna find– she might wanna suck on my machine gun! Hey, Dianne Feinstein, ride one of these you worthless whore. Any questions? Freeeeedom!” - Ted Nugent

   Props to folkbum’s rambles and rants

   Posted by scott on August 26, 2007 at 1151 hrs
   
   
   

2. Ah…. how predictable.

   Posted by Owen on August 26, 2007 at 1156 hrs
   
   
   

3. Quite.

   Posted by scott on August 26, 2007 at 1206 hrs
   
   
   

4. Well, it’s an interesting list.  I’m actually pretty surprised that I agree with him on most of those.  I obviously disagree about where his right to protect himself comes from.  And I think it’s silly to say that “tobacco use kills more Americans than anything” and also that “guns are harmless inanitmate objects.  Tobacco and guns are both inanimate objects.  In both instances, it’s people killing people, no? I think if someone said “gun use is responsible for X deaths, Nugent would take them to task for it.”  And I also think he’s a bit childish in his discriptions of “good guys” and “bad guys” and “evil.”

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 26, 2007 at 1225 hrs
   
   
   

5. How exactly is he childish in his descriptions of good guys and bad guys and evil? 

   In my experience, when you are dealing with a good guy, or a bad guy, or evil, it’s pretty obvious. 

   And thanks Scott - don’t argue with what he said here, just try to discredit the person saying it.  Right out of the playbook champ, too bad the fact that Ted may be an asshole doesn’t make him wrong on what he’s saying here today. 

   It’s cute because you think you accomplished something with your post.  Keep trying.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 26, 2007 at 1232 hrs
   
   
   

6. Some of his items are just “duh” obvious and not all that contentious.  We don’t need Ted Nugent to tell us that most black Americans are killed by other black Americans?  Or that one should refrain from drunk driving?  But he says them with such vehemence, he must be arguing with someone.  I just can’t figure out who.

   Some of the other items strike me as the ideological rantings of an under-medicated crazy person.  (And if you think he’s not kinda crazy, see the quote I put in comment #1)

   Posted by scott on August 26, 2007 at 1247 hrs
   
   
   

7. Public Service,
   Because the world is more complicated than that.  The reasons behind (for example) Japan’s attack on the united States were a lot more complicated than “hey, let’s go hurt the good guys because we’re the bad guys.”  It’s all relative.

   I’m not saying he’s totally wrong on that point.  Just overly simplistic.  It’s dangerous to jump into war against people just because you’ve labeled them “the bad guys” or “evil.”  It seems far more productive to me to try to first understand who they are and where they are coming from, and then plan your strategy for dealing with them.

   Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 26, 2007 at 1352 hrs
   
   
   

8. He forgot the last item that one might usually hear at the end of a list like this:  “You guuuysh are the bestsh friends I’ve evah haad.”  A font of wisdom at the end of the bar.  Maybe Ted doesn’t drink, but he sure can recite the deep thinking and platitudes of those who do.

   Posted by John Foust on August 26, 2007 at 1352 hrs
   
   
   

9. It would seem that according to the Nuge, contrary to some people’s presumption, I am not a hippie.

   Posted by triticale on August 26, 2007 at 1427 hrs
   
   
   

10. We might not be able to trust Obama or Hillary, but we have absolutely no reason NOT to trust Ted Nugent, even though he executed the losing dog by wetting the dog down with water and electrocuting the animal.

    In court papers, Ted Nugent admitted that he and Glenn Beck fantasized about killing Michael Moore, and that they participated in the killing of dogs in his dogfighting operation. But Gonzo tried to deflect much of his culpability in the grisly enterprise onto friends like Glenn Beck.

    “I got you in a stranglehold, baby,” Nugent said to the pit bulls as he was killing them, “you better cross your way!”

    Posted by Shimmy on August 26, 2007 at 1634 hrs
    
    
    

11. I will disagree with #8.  Since kids spend 85% of their time outside of school I would say that what goes on in Ted’s house has alot more to do with how educated his kids are than anything.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 26, 2007 at 2002 hrs
    
    
    

12. Actually Ted Nugent is a harmless, inanimate object.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 27, 2007 at 1149 hrs
    
    
    

13. There are more deer, bear, mountain lion, geese, wild hogs and wild turkey in North America than at any time in recorded history.

    Sure, but there are a whole lot fewer of countless other species (buffalo come to mind).  That’s not me crying for radical new laws to protect species…it’s just me recognizing that Ted cherry-picked the species he chose to mention.

    Most of his list is obvious stuff, and I would agree with.  But he’s so over-the-top psycho most of the time that it’s hard to take anything he says seriously.  I have no doubt that he cares more about the joy of conflict in making his point than he does the cause for which he argues.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on August 27, 2007 at 1218 hrs
    
    
    

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