Not Your Normal Wedding Intro
If you were presiding over this wedding, how would you follow this?
If you were presiding over this wedding, how would you follow this?
“Before we get started does anyone need a refill?”
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1224 hrs
So is that how it’s going to work at your wedding, Jed? Should Owen work on his dance skills? (Cause that would take a lot of time and great expense)
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1245 hrs
If I were presiding, I would SPEAK NOW and NOT hold my peace that these idiots should not be joined in holy matrimony.
I get the feeling they met, had their first date, fell in “love”, proposed, and held their wedding reception at the same local dive bar…the same place where their marriage will end seven months from now.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1302 hrs
Ya that shows me white people cant dance
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1326 hrs
I’m ashamed to admit, but that’s pretty cool…truly a joyous event.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1332 hrs
Until the 2:45 mark, I was distracted by trying to figure out how freakishly large their wedding party was going to end up for a wedding that didn’t seem terribly large. Only then did I realize they were cycling through and coming down multiple times. (I’m not a fan of huge wedding parties, and I think I’ll stick with one attendant per side.)
That said, it does look like they were having a very good time. And I truly doubt any of their guests will ever forget it.
Posted by Bitter on July 23, 2009 at 1350 hrs
Looks like everyone was having a good time….so why not?
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1453 hrs
Was it legit with a female priest?
Reminds me of one of my friends kids’ wedding where the “Reverend Whateverhernamewas” callled on the spirits of the four elements to bless the union. Must have been a Druid or something.
I’m thinking, boy am I in the wrong place.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1512 hrs
Obviously you’ve never been to a wedding where the bride carried a fairy wand instead of a bouquet.
Posted by Owen on July 23, 2009 at 1517 hrs
And she sprinkled fairy dust on everyone, remember? That was the weirdest wedding I have ever been to. Except maybe for the wedding that wasn’t, of course. That was pretty weird, too.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1538 hrs
If I were presiding over this wedding I would have spent a little more time explaining the difference between the ceremony and the reception.
Fudd - that would have been a Unitarian wedding.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1623 hrs
I was at a wedding once where everyone pretended that this cracker was the flesh of a cosmic jewish zombie.
Jeeez people, they’re having fun. Nothing they did, or the fairy wand wedding party did, is any weirder or crazier than any other wedding. In fact, I love it because it’s so much less stuffy than most weddings.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 1730 hrs
This is awesome!
There is nothing wrong with two people in love having the time of their lives celebrating their marriage with so many supportive and loving family and friends.
Cheers to them, I bet the reception was a BLAST!
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 23, 2009 at 2239 hrs
Great post - I really like you page!
COMMON CENTS
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.comps. Link Exchange??
Posted by Steve on July 24, 2009 at 1036 hrs
I really hate people who treat their marriage ceremony like an extension of their high school prom: rented limo, cheap attire, bad food, lousy music, and God-awful dancing.
Idiots should never get married; they only end up as divorced idiots.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 24, 2009 at 1518 hrs
Oh c’mon, Mr. Pants, lighten up. This is a lot more inspired and thoughtful than yet another wedding party being walked down the aisle to yet another mediocre church organist trying to hack out the Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin or the Pachelbel Canon or Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.
It’s the couples with the tired music and tired sermons and tired hymns, and tired, lame readings of 1 Corinthians 13 that I worry about. If you don’t care enough to make your wedding ceremony memorable, why should I believe you’re going to put any more effort into your actual marriage?
Also, Chris Brown better find them and send them a gift. This will do more to rehabilitate his career than any amount of apologizing for slapping Rihanna around. 1.7 million views? Nice.
Posted by Recess Supervisor on July 24, 2009 at 1549 hrs
Mr. Pants,
Do you have data that suggests people who have fun at their weddings are more likely to get divorced than people that do all that tired BS with the crackers and chanting? I bet you don’t.Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 24, 2009 at 1557 hrs
I bet I do. By the looks of these idiots, that’s all the data I need.
And besides, there is a difference between “having fun” at your wedding, and acting like a complete idiot…or pack of idiots.
My guess is this relationship began in a bar, and will end in a bar; probably the same bar, about seven to ten months from now.
Party on, idiots!! 1.7 million viewers can’t help you.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 24, 2009 at 1645 hrs
Hey! It’s Vizzini again! How’s it going?
Seriously, stop the insulting of Christians, will you? It’s old, and marks you as nothing more than an arrogant berk.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 24, 2009 at 1858 hrs
...an arrogant berk??
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 24, 2009 at 2318 hrs
I love Vizzini. He’s on Gossip Girl now. What a great show.
JIJAWM doesn’t need my spirited defense, but to be sure, I wasn’t criticizing Christianity. I was criticizing the tired matrimonial displays that so many of us are subjected to on weekend afternoons in the summer.
How many times the music sucks. How many times the officiant barely knows the bride and groom, yet tries to subject us to some crappy story he gleaned off of them during whatever pre-wedding meeting they had to make it seem like they’ve been besties forever. Then he busts out the same tired wedding sermon he uses every weekend. A family member with zero public speaking experience comes up and plods through some Bible verse, usually 1 Corinthians 13 - because goodness knows there are no other discussions of love anywhere in the Good Book. Congregants mumble their way through hymns they don’t know or call and response stuff that nobody bothered to print in the hymnal because someone ignorantly assumed everyone was a member of that particular church/denomination. If they’re merciful, the ceremony is short and those in attendance are spared from trying to figure out whether they are or are not supposed to take communion and what the hell it is that one is supposed to say during communion at said church. Then it ends, everyone tinkles some bells or throws some rice, and gets herded off to a banquet hall for a crappy chicken dinner.
Christianity doesn’t suck. But most Christian weddings do. They’re the inspirational equivalent of middle school band concerts. Everyone’s just sucking it up and waiting to get to the (hopefully) open bar. Props to anyone who is thoughtful and creative enough to maybe spend a little time planning and doesn’t just bust out the cookie cutter that the organist and minister recommend so that they don’t have to work for their paycheck.
Posted by Recess Supervisor on July 24, 2009 at 2341 hrs
Damn, I’m getting married on Sunday in Vegas. i hope I am not expected to do this, or anything close to this.
Posted by Dan on July 25, 2009 at 0217 hrs
If you were presiding over ths wedding, how would you follow this?
“You may cast your vote via text message. Voting will close one hour after the conclusion of the ceremony”.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 0718 hrs
Well, I’m with you RS, although I suspect after this crappy High School Musical wedding ceremony is over, it’s off they go in their white, rented limo, 30 minute horse-drawn carriage ride, and maybe - just maybe - stock photos outside the Capitol. Cuz gee…wouldn’t that be a neat and innovative idea?
THEN…it’s off to a boring reception of chicken and peas dinner where you pretend to know their 3rd cousin from Minnesota and the other rubes at your pre-selected dinner table. Then, a lousy toast about how much everyone loves everyone else, what a great girl she is, how they’re all members of the same family, then more crappy dancing.
The bride will at some point need to take off her shoes on the dance floor, the groom will undue his tie and perhaps wear sunglasses (Neat-O!), and at least one groomsman will get way too drunk and pull down his pants.
How’s that for fun Grandma?!?
(Oh, and divorce proceedings will begin 7-10 months from now)
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 0811 hrs
Props to anyone who is thoughtful and creative enough to maybe spend a little time planning and doesn’t just bust out the cookie cutter that the organist and minister recommend so that they don’t have to work for their paycheck.
I agree. Me personally, what a nice change from the bland carbon-copy wedding ceremony.
Who’s to say, but I like the odds for this couple.
A woman who’s not an uppidty bride-zilla “I’m a princess and I want a perfect day” type chic. Delightfully refreshing damn the banality!
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 0917 hrs
Whenever you are in a church and you notice that the service is suddenly about what the people are doing instead of what God is doing for the people something has gone drastically wrong.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 0943 hrs
The wedding party appeared live this morning on the Today Show and reenacted their wedding march. One of the groomsmen was on crutches with a leg cast; the reception afterwards must have been a hoot! The video now has over 4.6 million hits on YouTube.
Like xxpilot, I find it totally refreshing. Some of you may need to adjust your “sticks”.
Grandma looked like she was having fun
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 1020 hrs
People are idiots and the Today show caters to idiots.
Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, losers! It will pale in comparison to the druken smackdown you’ll soon have at Gonzo’s Pub and Grill….where you first met.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 1038 hrs
I agree. Me personally, what a nice change from the bland carbon-copy wedding ceremony.
And one of the songs is always Paul Stookey’s “The Wedding Song/There is Love”. Gag.
My favorite part of a wedding is when the drunk Best Man makes a toast during the reception. “WHAT did he say??”
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 1200 hrs
Pants,
Yeah, I guess you don’t. Your guess is based on nothing and should be totally ignored. Dancing and having fun doesn’t make you an idiot. Celebrating the biggest day of your life by having a guy in a dress talk about a 2000 year old fairy tale instead of about you and your spouse makes you an idiot. IMHODave,
Your Vizzini characterization of me doesn’t make any sense. The guy was a no-it-all. Your major quibble with me is that I insist that neither you or I know it all (whereas you claim to know the origin/nature of the universe cause you read about it in some old perverted book). If one of us is Vizzini, it’s you. You’re the berk.Joe,
Yes, we should all ignore the couple getting married just in case god takes a break from making hurricanes and giving people cancer to turn water into wine or something. Sheesh.Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 1433 hrs
Don’t worry, Mr. Pelican Pants. It was obvious near the start, this was not a Roman Catholic Church.
It may be a marriage in the eyes of the statists approving this abomination, but in the eyes of God, this is not a marriage and will never be—unless performed in the Holy Roman Catholic Church.
End of discussion.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 25, 2009 at 1752 hrs
If you were presiding over this wedding, how would you follow this?
Thank you for coming. I now pronounce you man and wife. Good night, Minnesota!
Pants and Kevin are cordially invited to go $%*@ themsleves…
Posted by JB on July 25, 2009 at 2002 hrs
JB -
I respectfully RSVP in the negative to your invitation.
I also respectfully request you get bent.
JIJAWM: same request. IMHO.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 26, 2009 at 1031 hrs
“get bent.”
Classy.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 26, 2009 at 2055 hrs
getting married on Sunday in Vegas ... any Flying Elvi involved?
Posted by Peter on July 26, 2009 at 2256 hrs
“Classy”
Original.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 26, 2009 at 2308 hrs
Well, your reaction of “get bent” isn’t particularly original either. Typical “hard core” Christian response.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 27, 2009 at 0959 hrs
What data do you have to prove I am a Christian? I need to see your data! Show it to me NOW!!!
DATA!!!!!Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 27, 2009 at 1033 hrs
Within the next few years, after my own wedding is over and we’ve moved into our new place, I’m determined to start my own event planning business after being an office event coordinator for a couple years now. I was wondering how you event/wedding planners starting your own business. I plan on stocking up on plenty of event planning business books (event planning for dummies, anyone?), but does anyone else have any advice for me.bodas
Posted by bodas on July 29, 2009 at 1445 hrs
In order for it to be a Catholic wedding and seen as a marriage by the Catholic church, you must be married in a Catholic church. Because of the strong stance the Catholic church has on weddings, your friend’s cousin will not be able to perform the ceremony or even appear there as a priest unless it is in a church.
big tuxedosPosted by big tuxedos on July 30, 2009 at 1739 hrs
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