Man Goes Ass Over Tea Kettle

...and his tea kettle fell out.

The Smoking Gun via TMZ.

Okay, there are probably at least 497 better headlines you could have come up with.  Have at it in the comments.  The winner gets free investment advice from Bernard Madoff (if Mr. Madoff is unavailable, the winner will receive a steaming bowl of mayonnaise). 

1. Ski Lift/Fashion Malfunction

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 06, 2009 at 2202 hrs




2. They could have at least been polite and given the guy a bigger red star! 

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 06, 2009 at 2222 hrs




3. Well, it was pretty cold outside, I’m sure.

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 06, 2009 at 2225 hrs




4. Once again, Jeff Wood is unable to make it all the way home without an emergency bathroom stop.

   Posted by Recess Supervisor on January 06, 2009 at 2239 hrs




5. That poor bastard.  That’s a bad dream come true.  If he wants needs a silver lining, it is this:  At least there were no amateur photographers up hill.  I’m sure the cold and the blood draining to his melon would have led to very unflattering, emasculating images.

   Oh, and my caption.  “Vail unveils man’s shrinking assets.”

   Posted by Jib on January 07, 2009 at 0039 hrs




6. Reminds me of a commercial that used to be on the radio about 10 years ago that ended with the tag: “YOU need Crack Cream©!”.

   That said, regarding this guy’s dilemma, I’m also reminded of a line by Dave Barry (which I paraphrase): “You hear stories about Spontaneous Human Combustion, where people burst into flames for no apparent reason, but you never get a break like that when you need it”. In this age of You Tube and the internet, this will follow this poor schlub for the rest of his life. If I was in his place, a cardboard box under an overpass would start to sound pretty good…

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 07, 2009 at 0950 hrs




7. “It’s All Downhill From Here”

   “Men’s Uphill Freestyle Event”

   “World’s Smallest Ski Pole”

   
   -jjg
   DailyScoff.com

   Posted by J. Gravelle on January 07, 2009 at 0953 hrs




8. “Authorities Intervene at Global Warming Protest”

   Sorry, but after following the link & seeing the 5th picture, I couldn’t help but think of global warming, or California Proposition 8.

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 07, 2009 at 1101 hrs




9. You know… I’ve used the phrases before “I’m freezing my ass off” 

   and I’ve even used the phrase “I’m freezing my balls off”

   But I’ve never said “I’m freezing my ass and balls off”

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 07, 2009 at 1138 hrs




10. Laughing so hard I’m crying.  What kind of idiot could possibly get himself in this situation and I bet those who “rescued” him had a hard time not laughing.

    Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on January 07, 2009 at 1546 hrs




11. Just for you, Wendy - (did good to laugh at those pics!)

    Whilst swinging and gliding atop of a hill
    An odd sort of thing took it’s toll on ole Bill
    He twisted to see just what was about
    When the next thing ya hear is a scream and a shout
    Now if’n you ere stopped by the local meat locker
    The site was kinda similar, ‘twas even a shocker
    The flank steak was hangin’
    And my it was cold
    But on and on, up the ski hill Bill rode
    Some fellers, they tried to lend aid, but they just
    had to wait til the meat reached the peak, ya dey must!
    Now dat’s just how I seen it, it could be much keener
    But me and the hubby, we’re off for a weiner…..

    Posted by GAMazy on January 07, 2009 at 1934 hrs




12. Your anal fixation is quite common among anti-gay activists. The fear, I fear, is the wish.

    Horne

    Posted by Michael Horne on January 07, 2009 at 1957 hrs




13. Mikey?  Was there a point to your comment?

    Posted by gamazy on January 08, 2009 at 1801 hrs