Saturday, March 20, 2010

Man Assaults Police Officer With Member

Now that’s drunk. 

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: “The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.”

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: “He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

“He can’t remember anything but accepts that if that’s what the police say then that’s what happened.

“He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed.”

(3) Comments
Posted by Owen at 1646 hrs
Foreign Affairs + Law

  1. Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: “The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.”
    Why was it in her face?
    Is she short?
    did she fall?
    “you want some of this”?lol
    too funny

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on March 20, 2010 at 1836 hrs


  2. Don’t the Brits have some sort of charge like, “Assault with a friendly weapon?”

    Or perhaps not.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on March 21, 2010 at 1146 hrs


  3. What with the whole “this is my rifle, this is my gun” mantra, he could have been charged with a gun crime.

    Posted by Owen on March 21, 2010 at 1149 hrs


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