Five Squares

I thought that one square was enough?

Roswell, Ga. - Richard Thorne grins as he waves his hand under a toilet paper dispenser in a women’s restroom. The machine spits five sheets of tissue into his grasp.

A year in the works, the electronic tissue dispenser is being rolled out to the masses by Kimberly-Clark Professional as it seeks to capture more of the $1 billion away-from-home toilet paper market. The company believes most people will be satisfied with five sheets - and use 20% less toilet paper.

“Most people will take the amount given,” says Thorne. Waxing philosophical, he adds, “People generally in life will take what you give them.”

But isn’t that a very true, if sad, human trait?  It is on this truism of human nature that socialism is built.

1. Nah…my take is that most people will just BYPASS that restrictive machines and move on to find a less restrictive stall

   That is…unless it’s a dire emergency….then you just sit there and wave your hand as many times as it takes

   Posted by Pete Fanning on July 12, 2007 at 0838 hrs




2. Do you think that there will develop some kind of taboo against doing that?  Like when the guy next to you hears the machine dispense toilet paper for the 39th time, he lets out a disapproving sigh and notifies the management?

   Posted by Owen on July 12, 2007 at 0850 hrs




3. People will do more than just take what they’re given.  Often enough they’ll ask for someone else to tell them what they get.  And that is the truism upon which authoritarianism - a much larger danger for us in America today - is built.

   Posted by scott on July 12, 2007 at 0855 hrs




4. And if they don’t give us unlimited free lotioned two-ply instead of one-ply, the terrrrrists win.

   Posted by John Foust on July 12, 2007 at 0904 hrs




5. Can’t believe I missed two groaners.  “Tear-ists!”  “Let’s roll!”

   Posted by John Foust on July 12, 2007 at 0907 hrs




6. I am pretty sure Ayn Rand covered this in one of her novels.  You do not have an inherent right to another man’s (in this case, a business owner’s) toilet paper.  You should be grateful, when you come to his place of business, if he lets you use his bathroom at all.

   Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go write up my business plan for creating little packets of flushable tissue that women can put in their purses and men can carry to counter this trend.

   But Kimberly-Clark is probably already on it.

   Posted by Brian J. on July 12, 2007 at 0914 hrs




7. Yes, I think this is on page 43 of “Ayn Rand’s Guide to Hospitality.”

   Posted by John Foust on July 12, 2007 at 1002 hrs




8. 5 squares. Or instead of just taking what is dispensed, most of us with big a—es will just waive the sensor and get another 5 more. Then maybe for grins 5 more after that when I only needed 2…

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 12, 2007 at 1035 hrs




9. I need more than 5 - a lot more.  Don’t care if I’m killing trees, I’m not willing to comprimise on some things.

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 12, 2007 at 1109 hrs




10. Kimberly-Clarke shareholders better hope this idea turns out better than their pre-moisened toilet paper from a few years back.

    Posted by Sean Hackbarth on July 12, 2007 at 1406 hrs




11. Sean, you nailed it.

    Beware of investing in that try to make it harder for people to use more of their products.  Glad I don’t own KMB stock.  Definitely won’t be buying any now.

    I’m predicting this thing to be a flop.  (Of course, the city of San Francisco will probably order 100,000+ of them to replace all municipal dispensers).

    But the larger point is that you are forced to use KMB’s paper for it.  So the potential buyer is either stuck with a single vendor of TP, who can set the price at whatever they choose since you’re a slave to their machine.  Or, you simply don’t buy.  OR, you wait for the inevitable generic knock-offs to show up that can be used with any brand TP.

    What a bunch of idiots….

    Posted by David on July 12, 2007 at 1512 hrs




12. Be grateful you’re not in India. There you get no squares.

    Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 12, 2007 at 1515 hrs




13. I worked in the restaurant business for a lot of years and one of the few things in this world I know for sure is that people will waste toilet paper and that they will break your toilet paper dispenser.

    Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on July 12, 2007 at 1718 hrs




14. Come on, somebody mention Sensenbrenner. 

    And what about Clean is Happy as a paper-less alternative?

    Posted by John Foust on July 12, 2007 at 1821 hrs




15. The idea of five squares in simply unkind. I agree with PatrickR, there are some things in life one does not compromise.

    Maybe Sensenbrenner would install them at home for a promotional discount? He does have a way of endearing himself to unique opportunities…

    Posted by Cindy on July 12, 2007 at 2013 hrs