Monday, February 15, 2010

Basketball Results

Oh, it was not good.

Background, our 10 year old daughter is on a 5th and 6th grade basketball team at school. Tonight, her sadistic coaches (who are otherwise two very nice men who do an amazing job) decided to have a mother/daughter basketball game.

I’m pretty sure that the last time I ever played in a game of basketball was in about 1988 when I was an 8th grader during a recess when it was raining outside and we were forced to play in the gym and all the little wiggly scooters and jump ropes were taken and I had a teacher who insisted that we all move during recess. I am equally certain that I faked an injury during the basketball unit of my lifetime sports class in high school.

So I asked for your advice, and you gave it. You wisely told me not to shoot—no matter what, to wear a sports bra, and to wear bling. Of all the advice to follow, I chose to wear the bling, well, my wedding ring. IT DIDN’T WORK.

This is what went down. We had to play against our daughters. Thankfully, my daughter’s growth seems to be stunted a bit, and she is about chest height. She got the ball, and put up a shot. It bounced off the rim, and by chance (and only by chance!), the ball landed in between my hands, which happened to be about the same width apart as the size of a basketball. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! So, reflexively, to follow other advice of a well-intentioned commenter, I got rid of it. Up. And against the backboard. And there it hovered, on the little orange metal piece that holds the basket to the board. I’m pretty sure it sat there about 43 seconds before it fell in through the net. Their net. I scored two points for the other team!

Worse, the halftime buzzer buzzed at just that very moment, so the laughing and taunting hung around for the halftime break. Oh dear.

Thankfully, my teammates didn’t hold it against me, and I managed to do okay for the rest of the game. We also had a shooting machine on our team, and managed to win by one point at the very last moment.

So what did I learn? Wear a sports bra, get rid of the ball, and never, EVER shoot the ball!  Thanks for all your advice, and next time I ask for it, I will be sure to follow it to the letter. I did learn, though, that when someone shoots a basket for the other team, the person closest to the shooter gets credit for the points. So at least I helped my kid score.

Now I know.

By the way, as we were walking out to the car, my embarrassment subsided when my daughter turned to me and said, “Thanks for participating.” Then it came back when the first thing she said to her siblings when we got home was, “Mom scored a basket for the WRONG TEAM!”

(4) Comments
Posted by Wendy at 2128 hrs
Off-Duty

  1. Wendy, don’t feel bad. The fun is in the paticipation. And enjoying reliving the game at every family gathering forever. I learned to maintain my sense of humor, and a stiff upper lip.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on February 15, 2010 at 2214 hrs


  2. Ok. That is funny. I don’t know who told you to wear bling. Bling scratches people when you play. Nice to hear that you made an impact on the game. Oh, and I always follow the “wear a sports bra” mantra.

    I wish I would have seen this post before the game, I would have given you the same advice I give my son: Don’t hang on the rim when you dunk.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on February 15, 2010 at 2313 hrs


  3. These are the kind of stories that turn into legend by the time you have grandkids.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Posted by Charlie Hillman on February 16, 2010 at 1107 hrs


  4. Wendy,

    You are rapidly amassing the credentials for the ‘Mommy Hall of Fame.’

    Posted by Steve Burri on February 16, 2010 at 2036 hrs


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