Are You Ready to Die?

I am.

I know that it is morbid, but I think quite a bit about my own death.  Perhaps it is the fact that I have lived longer than my older brother ever did.  Perhaps it is because I am nearing the age of my father’s premature death.  Perhaps it is because I have buried a step-father, aunt, uncle, friend, and on and on.  Or perhaps it is just because I am getting older, have a growing family, and have passed the age where I think I am invincible.  Whatever the case, I have contemplated my own demise at great length. 

In fact, here is the epitaph that I envision for myself:

And isn’t that all that matters?

Sure, I have plenty of regrets.  If I were to die tomorrow… I regret that I didn’t do more when I found my father’s gasping corpse.  I regret that I didn’t spend more time with my wife and tell her that I love her.  I regret that I didn’t read more to my kids.  I regret that I didn’t write a book.  I regret that I didn’t step foot on the three continents that I have yet to traverse.  And on and on and on…

But I realize that no matter when I die, I will have regrets and unfulfilled ambitions.  I don’t think that anyone has ever died having done everything that they wished to do.  If I ever run out of ambitions, I might as well pack it in. 

At the same time, I have lived a full life.  I have married my best friend, and for reasons that I can’t comprehend, she loves me.  I have four fantastic children who make me proud every day.  I have a career that makes me proud.  I have traveled and seen much of the world.  I have studied history to gain perspective.  I have been humbled by the simplest of things.  I have been torn down and rebuilt several times. 

Were I to die today, I can die knowing that I lived a good life.  I tried to make the world better than when I was spurted onto a table.  And if I have failed, I have only God to answer to, who has already forgiven me for my sins. 

Each day is a blessing and a joy to live.  I am thankful for each one.  But should I die tomorrow… I’m ready. 

Are you? 

1. You must add “perfect som” to that.  Love you

   Posted by on September 21, 2007 at 2254 hrs




2. oops. “perfect SON’

   Posted by on September 21, 2007 at 2255 hrs




3. If I ever run out of ambitions, I might as well pack it in

   mmm Good point!

   I have married my best friend, and for reasons that I can’t comprehend, she loves me.

   You know… I hear people say nice things about their spouse from time to time and I think “yeah right” everyone knows the right ‘thing to say’ but how do they REALLY feel…

   But a small percentage of the time there are people that I think REALLY mean it… And in a round about way (your posts and your wife’s) she’s pretty damn cool, and as such, I have to say I believe you… and that is way cool.  Inspiring actually… for someone who has (depending how you look at it) either avoided the biggest mistake you can make… OR avoided taking a chance on the best thing you could ever have in my 32 years.  (still trying to figure out which I’ve actually done) but single, 32, never married, no kids (that I know of) no engagements, never even ‘played house’.  Its nice to know that despite all the unhappiness you see between couples there are a few that really have it.

   I know that it is morbid, but I think quite a bit about my own death.

   My 2 absolute best friends in the world died in Aug. of 2005.  (crashed into each other) I finally realized what it was like to have a void in your life that you KNOW will never be filled.  But at the same time, gosh if it didn’t make me realize how fortunate I was to have met them and to have connected with friends who knew PERFECTLY and vice versa. 

   Since then I think about death alot also.  Similarly though for every sad thought I can’t help but think that the dark spots in life serve a valuable contrast to allow me to see the bright spots in all their glory.

   Posted by on September 21, 2007 at 2301 hrs




4. There are two things that I think about when the subject of death comes up. First, and it has some to do with the whole “regret” thing but more, is the notion of living each day as though it’s your last. I actually hate that. I prefer to live each day as though it’s my first. Looking ahead to new things, seeing and living life as though it were something new . . . special . . . and wondering what tomorrow brings.

   The other thing I think about comes from the movie “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”. Not a bad movie, really. It was one of those that surprised me as I didn’t know much about it and didn’t initially want to see it. Well, I won’t recap the entire movie but at one point a young girl who is terminally ill, says to another character speaking of her disease and death, that it’s not death she’s afraid of . . . it’s what she’ll miss.

   So, for me it’s not about regret. It’s about what I’d miss.

   Posted by Jim on September 21, 2007 at 2316 hrs




5. Your post lends itself to long drawn out comments.
   Well said.
   I too married my best friend.
   I too will meet my reward with no regrets.
   That is the gift HE has given US.

   Posted by on September 22, 2007 at 0043 hrs




6. Whoa. If I had posted that the MJS headline in the Waukesha section would have declared it proof of mental instability. You post it, and we can talk like grown ups!

   I made a small adjustment in attitude about 6 years ago that pulled regrets off the radar. It’s been a wonderful way to live. And yes, I’m sad about what I’ll miss (excellent point and movie), but I’ll always miss something no matter when I go. When I think of what I’d miss, I give those things more priority now.

   I think it all comes down to accepting our human fate. We aren’t meant to physically live forever. That’s why our good works become so important. Then we may be gone, but for a while we won’t be forgotten.

   Posted by Cindy on September 22, 2007 at 0724 hrs




7. My regrets are on the radar, but I’m fine with that.  I just put them in the “lessons learned” category of my mind and try not to repeat them. 

   On the subject of regrets, I try to live life with the notion that I am far more likely to regret the things that I didn’t do than the the things that I did.  The weight of a regret like “I should have told her that I loved her before she died” is far heavier than “I wish I had not belched so loud at Thanksgiving dinner.”

   Posted by Owen on September 22, 2007 at 0758 hrs




8. Main characters don’t die.

   But my friend Michael thinks about it fairly often and he knows there’s still stuff he needs to get done.

   The trick is to run out of things that are worth doing right when you run out of time to do them.

   Posted by elliot on September 22, 2007 at 0953 hrs




9. Owen,

   After almost losing my life just 3 short weeks ago to pneumococcal sepsis....  I thought I was ready, but the answer is a resounding “NO”.

   I have way too much to keep going for with my beautiful 3 and 7 year old daughters and my best friend and husband who kept it all together for all of us while I was in the ICU.

   Fight for life with everything you have!

   Posted by on September 22, 2007 at 1206 hrs




10. I’m more than ready. In fact, I go to bed each night hoping not to wake up the next day. Disappointed to find out I did.

    Posted by pdigaudio on September 22, 2007 at 1217 hrs




11. Wow.

    I’m sitting here rereading this for the third time, and I’ve got - not nothing, but perhaps too much. Too much to say about living with regret, too much to say about the amazing love of Christ, too much to say about the people I’ve loved and lost, and the ones I didn’t get to love.

    Too much to say about how Cindy is right, and how hard it can be for women to talk to other people who aren’t thisclose women friends. Too much to say about Peter not comprehending the void he’ll leave for others.

    Posted by tee bee on September 22, 2007 at 1300 hrs




12. Each day is a gift from God.  A gift to be appreciated and used in a way that makes you smile when you hit the pillow at night.

    God and your loved ones that have passed, are smiling at this post.

    That is if they internet in heaven???

    

    Posted by KT on September 22, 2007 at 1453 hrs




13. One more thought…
    My grandma celebrated her 90th birthday a week ago.  For her gift, all of us grandchildren wrote an essay about the lessons we learned from her and our favorite memories we shared. 

    We took the essay’s and bound them into a book called, “A Legacy Of Love”

    I thought writing my essay was fulfilling, you should have been in the room when she opened it.  No words needed to be spoken.  We all know the value of her in our lives and the legacy that she has created just by living her life the way she does.  We wanted her to know this now, rather than say it at her funeral.

    After 90 years, I know that she is both ready and willing to go when God calls her home, but she also has enormous will to live life, laugh and enjoy all the little things.

    Thanks for this post Owen.  I got to tell you all how cool my grandma is.

    Posted by KT on September 22, 2007 at 1500 hrs




14. I’ve been dead twice. God has me here for a reason. Because of this, I’m not afraid of dying. Every day I live now is a gift, a blessing. That siad, just because you lose your fear of death, DO NOT be afraid to live!

    Posted by Billiam on September 22, 2007 at 1931 hrs




15. Belching at Thanksgiving is a time-honored tradition at our house. No reason for regrets there. (Uh, actually, belching in general...)

    Really, there are ways to atone for things in your past that leave you regretful. Once you decide to do it, it goes pretty quickly. Then choices become really clear and it’s easy not to add to the regret list.

    Did Jesus die only for the sins you want to forget?

    Posted by Cindy on September 23, 2007 at 0758 hrs