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Boots and Sabers - The blogging will continue until morale improves...
Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A Little Teasip Humor

Received via the e-mail thingie:

It’s been almost one week without an arrest of a Longhorn football player!   Good job, Mack—way to keep those boys in line!!!

(Note: for those of you that don’t know, Austin’s Pride has produced, within the last month: four boys- w/ mugshots and prints. Two for armed robbery (w/ firearms), one for auto burglary & DUI and another for DUI).

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin?

A huddle.

2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who’s driving?

The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new “Honor System”.

Yes Your Honor, No Your Honor.

4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator:

Dick DeGueren, Attorney at Law.

5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?

Studying their Miranda Rights.

6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise?

7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don’t you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bike!

8. The Longhorns employ scouts.

To look out for cops, not to scout high school kids.

9. Why did the Texas Department of Corrections build a new prison in Austin, Texas?

In order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.

10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation?

Time off for good behavior.

11. Why can’t the Longhorns get into a huddle on the football field? 

It’s a parole violation to associate with known felons.

Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to resort to robbing people.

BOOK ‘EM, HORNS!

 

(8) Comments
Posted by Jed at 1504 hrs
Off-Duty + Humor

  1. Some of those are funny. Number 6 cracked me right up. Ordinarily, I’d say wait until Thanksgiving weekend and we’ll settle this the way real Texans do—on the football field. But then we nearly let Arkansas State, Arkansas State, beat us, and I’ve lost a good bit of my cockiness. Ah well, a win’s a win, as they say. Here’s to a pair of 11-0 teams meeting on November 23.  cool grin

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on September 04, 2007 at 1630 hrs


  2. Friggin’ hilarious!

    Posted by Fuzz on September 04, 2007 at 1632 hrs


  3. Those are good ones, Maggie!

    Posted by Steve on September 04, 2007 at 1650 hrs


  4. Here’s to a pair of 11-0 teams meeting on November 23.

    More like 5-6 v. 10-1.

    Posted by Jed on September 04, 2007 at 1700 hrs


  5. 5-6? 
    Jed, have you know faith? Hope? Wishful thinking? smirk

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on September 04, 2007 at 1905 hrs


  6. Some of those jokes were told about Forrest Gregg’s Packers. They’re still funny.

    Posted by Peter on September 04, 2007 at 2037 hrs


  7. Now Jed, I know we looked bad against Arkansas State, but I think we can do better than 5-6.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on September 05, 2007 at 1049 hrs


  8. Very Important! Please! Save Vadim Vassilenko:  HIGH PROFILE CRIMINAL CASE. THREE BABIES LOOSE THEIR MOTHERS |  P.S. Please, dont remove 2 week. Thanks ! | Tricor | Avapro | Glyburide | Hyzaar | Relafen

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on November 05, 2007 at 1720 hrs


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