Nugent’s Truths

Here’s a list of Ted Nugent’s irrefutable list of truths.  It’s hard to argue with most of them. 

* Water is wet. Venison is food. Tobacco use kills more Americans than anything. Drinking and driving is self-inflicted terrorism.

* God gave me the right to defend myself.

* Tofu production kills more living things than any other activity on earth.

* Paul McCartney took too much acid.

* Trapping bans don’t work. Hunting bans don’t work. Gun bans don’t work. Gun-free zones are a recipe for innocent slaughter.

* Guns are harmless, inanimate objects.

* Pathetic people not willing to defend themselves cannot dictate such soulless policy upon those of us who know we must.

* American education fails to teach many children to read, write, spell, balance a checkbook or talk.

* The Internal Revenue Service is horrendously wasteful, unaccountable and unconstitutional.

* Dope destroys lives. Meth users are American terrorists.

* The No. 1 threat to a black American’s life is a black American.

* Kids that don’t do chores are a liability to family and America.

* People who don’t care about their health don’t deserve health care.

* Good is superior to evil. Smart is better than dumb. Activism is the duty of anyone claiming to be part of an experiment in self-government. A work ethic is far superior to laziness.

* Barbecued dead animals are perfect, natural and delicious.

* Love conquers hate. Patience teaches much more than immediate gratification. Clean is better than dirty.

* War is the answer against terror and evil. In WWII, America was the good guy, the Japanese and Nazis were the bad guys. You cannot negotiate with evil.

* The war on poverty is a joke. Pimps, whores and welfare brats are not legitimate job descriptions.

* Trees produce wood for many quality and proper uses.

* There are more deer, bear, mountain lion, geese, wild hogs and wild turkey in North America than at any time in recorded history.

* Child molesters cannot be fixed.

* The government gets more profit from gasoline taxes than the oil corporations do per gallon.

* Rock-‘n’-roll is sexier than C&W. Guitars are cooler than keyboards.

* It’s better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

* People who can’t speak clear English or mumble and carry themselves badly will have a hard time achieving the American Dream.

* Hippies stink.

* People who litter are rude pigs.