Liberals Don’t Love America (So Says Stein)

Here’s an entire column premised on complete ignorance of conservatism, but it has some funny parts.

I don’t love America. That’s what conservatives are always telling liberals like me. Their love, they insist, is truer, deeper and more complete. Then liberals, like all people who are accused of not loving something, stammer, get defensive and try to have sex with America even though America will then accuse us of wanting it for its body and not its soul. When America gets like that, there’s no winning.

But I’ve come to believe conservatives are right. They do love America more. Sure, we liberals claim that our love is deeper because we seek to improve the United States by pointing out its flaws. But calling your wife fat isn’t love. True love is the blind belief that your child is the smartest, cutest, most charming person in the world, one you would gladly die for. I’m more in “like” with my country.

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Conservatives feel personally blessed to have been born in the only country worth living in. I, on the other hand, just feel lucky to have grown up in a wealthy democracy. If it had been Australia, Britain, Ireland, Canada, Italy, Spain, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Japan, Israel or one of those Scandinavian countries with more relaxed attitudes toward sex, that would have been fine with me too.

When a Democrat loses the presidential race, real lefties talk a lot about moving to Canada. When Republicans lose, they don’t do that. Though, to be fair, they don’t have a lot of nearby conservative options. Not even Hannity is a committed enough conservative to yell, “If Obama wins, I’m moving to Singapore.”

Hat tip Wizbang.