DeWalt 16-D Rapid Fire

I want one. 

A new Nail Gun, made by Dewalt, has just been introduced. It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze. You can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back and relax with a cold beer. When she has the board in the right place, just fire away. With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new Dewalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else again.

(Yes, before you Snopes me… I know this is not real.)