Chucktatorship

Chuck Norris weighs in. 

It really doesn’t matter whose presidential ticket I ride on as vice president, since America will be a Chucktatorship when I step into office. If I am elected vice president, I promise to unilaterally fulfill these pledges within my first 30 days in office:

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I will erect two additional terrorist-deterring national monuments to two of my favorite movie stars and heroes, John Wayne and Charlton Heston – these monuments will be collectively known as “The Smith & Wesson Memorials.” (Of course Heston’s will have a three-story high Ten Commandment fountain in the center.)

Despite who becomes president, I will write and deliver the next four State of the Union speeches, titled, “We did it the people’s way I, II, III and IV.”

My only selfish request remains to preside over and “handle” the trial of Osama bin Laden, but I doubt it will ever happen because, as it says in a Chuck Norris fact I read online, Osama will never be found because he owes me $5.

Hat tip Lance at the BBA.