Are You Ready to Die?

I am.

I know that it is morbid, but I think quite a bit about my own death.  Perhaps it is the fact that I have lived longer than my older brother ever did.  Perhaps it is because I am nearing the age of my father’s premature death.  Perhaps it is because I have buried a step-father, aunt, uncle, friend, and on and on.  Or perhaps it is just because I am getting older, have a growing family, and have passed the age where I think I am invincible.  Whatever the case, I have contemplated my own demise at great length. 

In fact, here is the epitaph that I envision for myself:

Here lies Owen Barrett Robinson

Loved by Jesus

Married to his best friend

Father of four perfect children

1974 - 20??

And isn’t that all that matters?

Sure, I have plenty of regrets.  If I were to die tomorrow… I regret that I didn’t do more when I found my father’s gasping corpse.  I regret that I didn’t spend more time with my wife and tell her that I love her.  I regret that I didn’t read more to my kids.  I regret that I didn’t write a book.  I regret that I didn’t step foot on the three continents that I have yet to traverse.  And on and on and on… 

But I realize that no matter when I die, I will have regrets and unfulfilled ambitions.  I don’t think that anyone has ever died having done everything that they wished to do.  If I ever run out of ambitions, I might as well pack it in. 

At the same time, I have lived a full life.  I have married my best friend, and for reasons that I can’t comprehend, she loves me.  I have four fantastic children who make me proud every day.  I have a career that makes me proud.  I have traveled and seen much of the world.  I have studied history to gain perspective.  I have been humbled by the simplest of things.  I have been torn down and rebuilt several times. 

Were I to die today, I can die knowing that I lived a good life.  I tried to make the world better than when I was spurted onto a table.  And if I have failed, I have only God to answer to, who has already forgiven me for my sins. 

Each day is a blessing and a joy to live.  I am thankful for each one.  But should I die tomorrow… I’m ready. 

Are you?

Posted by Owen at 2143 hrs
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